Wolverine's Motherly Instincts
by greenplaid88
Summary: Wolverine does what he does best. And what he does is... Take care of two sick teenage boys?
1. Chapter 1: And Then There Were Three

Disclaimers:

I don't own any of the following:

X-Men: Evolution

MadTV

Inspiration for the summary goes to MadTV for the Wolverclean.

"No. I need to go, Charles. I ain't gonna stay here by myself!" Logan protested.

"I'm sorry, Logan. This is the only way to guarantee your safety, as well as the rest of the team's. You cannot come." Professor X explained. "This mission is simply too dangerous for you."

It sounded odd to Logan to hear someone tell him that a mission was too dangerous for him. Deep down, though, he knew he was right. The X-Men team, of which he was a member, had gone off to California to recruit several new mutants there. Logan had volunteered to stay back and help the Professor manage the New Recruit team, as he never did enjoy recruiting missions much. While the X-Men were away, a 'problem' arose in Canada. Professor Xavier refused to tell Logan what said 'problem' was, just that he needed to solve it immediately, that he was taking the New Recruit team with him, and that Logan was to stay put at the mansion for his own safety.

"Charles, I understand where yer comin' from, I do." Logan said, trying to reason with the man. "But I have to go with you. If yer goin' ta Canada, then it probably involves me. You know that. I have to come with you. I have to sort out this out."

"No, Logan. I fear for your safety as well as the rest of the team's. You are to stay here. Believe me when I tell you that this is for your own good, as well as ours. Please try to understand."

Logan sighed. He knew the Professor was right. "I understand, Charles. I'll stay here and watch the mansion while you guys are away."

"Good." The Professor turned his chair away, preparing to leave the room, when he stopped and turned back to Logan. "There is one thing, however, that I fear I forgot to mention, Logan."

"What's that?"

"The mansion isn't the only thing you'll be watching."

"What?"  
>"You will need to take care of Bobby Drake and Sam Guthrie while I am away. They've come down with a pretty bad case of the flu, and Hank has required them to stay here, in bed."<p>

Logan growled. "What?"

"Normally I wouldn't dream of leaving two sick students here while I travel, but this mission is important, and they have you to take care of them. Hank has already written down the instructions for their medication. His notes are on the kitchen counter. I'm sorry, Logan, but this is the only way."


	2. Chapter 2: Nice Kitchen

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

Twinkies

Logan sighed and went downstairs, knowing that being angry about having to take care of two sick kids while everyone else was gone wasn't going to help his rather unfortunate situation. Arriving in the kitchen, he found Tabitha searching the cupboards. "Aren't ya supposed ta be leavin' with yer team, kid?"

"What?" Tabitha poked her head out from one of the cupboards. "Oh, sorry, Beaver, didn't hear ya come in. Whaddya say?"

Logan growled as he repeated himself. "I said, ain't ya supposed ta be leavin' with yer team?"

"What? They're leaving already? Dang it! Ray told me I had enough time to get snacks! Well, gotta go, Badger, see ya!" Tabitha rushed out of the room.

"It's Wolverine!" Logan yelled down the hall, doubting that Tabitha heard him, or that she would have listened even if she did. Growling, he started searching for Hank's medical notes. Tabitha had left the kitchen a mess after her search for snacks. Tossing a few different cracker boxes out of the way, he finally managed to find Hank's Twinkie-filling stained notes. He picked them up and started to skim them, looking only for material that seemed important. He heard the Velocity lift into the air, saw it sailing away, and cursed when he realized that the windows had been left open, sending the papers in his hand all and all the boxes Tabitha had left out all over the already disarrayed kitchen.

Boxes, papers, oranges, fruit snacks, and Kurt's not-so-secret stash of chocolate syrup started flying all around the room while Logan tried to shut the windows without much success. Finally, the force of the Velocity's take-off had passed, and Logan cranked the window shut.


	3. Chapter 3: Oh, Bobby

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

While Logan struggled to find Hank's notes in the now disassembled kitchen, he heard two sets of feet coming down the stairs. He looked up to find a very pale, disoriented-looking, red-nosed, bloodshot-eyed, pajama-clad Bobby and Sam. "What's all the ruckus down here?" Sam croaked.

"Man, what happened to the kitchen?" Bobby practically coughed out.

"I thought the two of ya were supposed ta be in bed." Logan growled.

"Yeah, but we heard a bunch of weird noises and cursing coming from down here, so we figured that we'd better come check it out," Sam explained.

"Yeah, well, I got this under control. Fer now. Anyways, the two of ya better get back up to bed. Ya don't look so good, 'specially you, Drake."

"Yeah, I don't feel so…" Bobby stopped mid sentence, turned to the garbage can and emptied his breakfast into it. Logan and Sam just cringed, trying not to watch.

Logan sighed. "Well, that's really nice, Bobby. Get back up ta yer room, both of ya."

"Better out than in, though, right?" Bobby mumbled to Sam as the two boys slowly left the room.

Logan sighed as he looked around the room. He started putting stuff back into its rightful place when he heard a small cry. "Mr. Logan!"


	4. Chapter 4: Tissues and Other Garbage

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

Logan sighed as he headed up the stairs to the room that Bobby and Sam shared. He opened the door to the darkened room to find Sam and Bobby in their beds, covered with blankets and surrounded by tissues. Logan took a deep breath. "Yes, Bobby?"

"I'm cold." Bobby answered through a stuffed up nose

"What?"

"I said I'm cold."

"Okay."

"Well, can you go get us some blankets or turn up the temperature or something?"

"Oh. Yeah, sure. Whatever." As Logan left the room to go search the mansion's many linen closets for blankets, he started to ponder exactly how Iceman was cold. He was just about to go back and ask when he found the blankets. He pulled two of them out of the closet and brought them back to the boys' room.

He opened the door and stepped inside. He placed one blanket over Sam's sleeping form, and turned to place the other on Bobby, who was still wide awake. "Thanks, Mr. Logan," Bobby said, taking the blanket from Logan and wrapping himself in it.

Logan responded with a grunt and left. He was halfway down the stairs when he heard another weak cry coming from the boys' room. "Mr. Logan!" Sighing, Logan turned around and headed back up the stairs.

Entering the room, he asked, "Yes, Bobby?"

"Could you go get me some more tissues?"

Logan growled but left the room in search of a tissue box. He found some in a bathroom closet, returned to the boys' room, and handed the box to Bobby.

"Thanks, Mr. Logan," Bobby said.

Logan left with a grunt and turned once more to leave the room. He went back downstairs to finish cleaning the kitchen when one faint cry reached his sensitive ears. "Mr. Logan!"

Growling and unsheathing his claws in frustration, he stormed up the stairs. He opened the door, claws still out, and found Bobby, sitting upright in bed, looking rather frightened. Logan sighed, put his claws away, and calmly asked, "Yes, Bobby?"

"Could you hand me the T.V. remote?"

Logan growled some more before reluctantly handing Bobby the remote. "Thanks, Mr. Logan," came Bobby's raspy reply.

Logan growled in Bobby's general direction, turned and left the room again. He walked down to the kitchen, determined to finish cleaning. As he entered the kitchen, he caught a whiff of something foul smelling. Really foul. Sighing and plugging his nose, he realized that he had never disposed of the garbage bag that Iceman had so nicely emptied his guts in. He reluctantly took the bag from the can, pulled the drawstrings, and took the bag outside to the dumpster bin. He tossed it in the bin, wondering how it was possible for any one object to smell worse than Toad.

After tossing the garbage bag, Logan returned to the kitchen to continue cleaning. As soon as he started putting the boxes away, a weak Southern voice reached his ears. "Mr. L.!"

Mentally preparing himself, Logan once again turned to walk up those dreaded stairs.


	5. Chapter 5: Coughing Fits and Baseball

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

the Simpsons

X-Men: the Animated Series

New York Yankees

Boston Red Sox

David Ortiz

Inspiration for this chapter goes to Red Witch for their story, "No Joy in Mudville."

Can you catch the cameo quote from X-Men: the Animated Series?

Once he reached the top of the stairs, he sighed heavily and opened the bedroom door. "Yes, Sam?" He asked, mentally kicking himself for asking.

"Bobby won't change the channel."

Logan sighed and looked to Bobby, sitting contently in his bed, watching the Simpsons. "Bobby, why aren't you changing the channel?"

"'Cause! It's the Simpsons!" Bobby shouted as best he could with his weakened voice.

"Aren't ya a little young to be watchin' that kinda stuff, Drake?"

"Aren't you a little old to be taking care of two sick kids?"

"Don't push me, Drake. I push back."

"Uh, okay. That doesn't change the fact that you're a living fossil taking care of two sick kids."

Logan sighed. "Ya know what, Bobby?"

"What?"

"Change the channel."

"What? Why? I didn't—"

"Now."

Now it was Bobby's turn to sigh. Or, in this case, attempt to sigh. Bobby started sighing, but his sigh quickly turned into a fit of coughing. While Bobby was coughing and trying to catch his breath in between coughs, Logan leaned over and took the remote from Bobby's shaking hand. Logan handed the remote to Sam, who happily changed the channel. He stopped at a baseball game between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox.

Hearing the baseball game's announcer say the name 'Oritz' seemed to snap Bobby out of his coughing fit. "Whoa, Big Papi's on?"

"Yeah, but the Yanks are winning by two." Sam said, smiling.

Checking the score in the upper left hand corner of the screen, Bobby saw that the Yankees were indeed winning by two. He sighed again, which of course, triggered another coughing fit.

Logan sighed, leaving Bobby to cough while Sam watched the game. No sooner had he left than he heard a whooping cry and a very loud coughing fit.

Logan burst back into the room to see Sam laughing and coughing at the same time and Bobby swearing and coughing into his mattress, pounding his fists into his nearby pillow. "Lemme guess," Logan said in his annoyed voice. "Ortiz struck out."

Sam, who was still laughing and coughing simultaneously, nodded his head. Logan left the room, deciding to just leave them to their coughing, which would probably not end until the game did. He went back downstairs to continue cleaning the kitchen, which still had a distinct smell of vomit. He had just started to put things away when he was rudely interrupted by another round of loud coughing from upstairs.

Logan decided mentally that if he went back up to the room, he will have wasted about 30 seconds of his life. He then decided that while he really didn't need those 30 seconds, seeing as though he had a couple hundred years to go, he really didn't want to spend any more time with Bobby and Sam than he had to.

Continuing his work, he started putting cereal boxes back into the cupboards. He actually had no idea where anything was supposed to go, so he just put random boxes into random cupboards. He eventually got all the boxes and containers off the floor and into some kind of cupboard or another, but without any success in finding Hank's notes. He started to wonder if said notes even existed. Logan stood back to admire his work. Almost allowing a smile to show through, his proud moment was ruined by a small cry. "Mr. Logan!"


	6. Chapter 6: Lemon Scented

Disclaimers:

I don't own:

X-Men: Evolution

Lysol

Fruit Roll-Up

Logan took his time walking up the stairs, certain that whatever it was that Bobby wanted, it couldn't be that important. "Yes, Bobby?" Logan asked upon opening the boys' bedroom door.

"I'm hungry."

"And?"

"Can't you go get us some food?"

Logan left with a growl and went downstairs to find food. He eventually found two plates in random cupboards on opposing sides of the room. He reached inside another cupboard and found barbeque chips and Fruit Roll-Up's. He put a handful of chips and a Fruit Roll-Up on each plate.

Growling, he took the plates up to the boys' room. "Here's yer food," He said, tossing one plate on each of the boys' beds.

"Mr. Logan, this isn't sick person food!" Bobby complained.

"Whaddya mean it ain't sick person food? It's food, ain' it?"

"Yeah," Sam interjected, "But sick people are supposed to have soup and crackers, not chips and candy!"

Logan growled and left the room. He went back downstairs to the smelly kitchen once more. He eventually found two cans of chicken noodle soup in a cupboard beneath some papers that looked pretty important, but not important enough for Logan to bother reading the heading that said "VERY IMPORTANT: Hank's Notes for Logan Regarding Bobby Drake and Sam Guthrie."

Logan took the two cans of soup, put them in the microwave, pushed a few random buttons, hoped that nothing would explode, and left the room in search of some Lysol spray. He'd seen Jean use that once when Scott left his smelly socks in the hallway. Logan had yet to discover why anyone would leave their socks in a hallway, but he figured that the Lysol stuff was designed to get rid of smells.

Upon finding the Lysol spray in one of many hallway closets, Logan proudly walked back to the kitchen, Lysol spray in hand. He entered the kitchen and was amazed to see that nothing had exploded. In fact the kitchen looked pretty good, but the smell that was still lingering over the entire room had to be dealt with.

Logan took the cap off of the Lysol bottle and sprayed its contents all over the room. When he had exhausted the entire can's supply, he took a whiff of the supposedly clean air and gagged.

Logan cursed loudly and started swearing about how "THIS DOESN'T SMELL LIKE F-ING LEMONS! HOW IN THE F-ING WORLD DOES THIS SMELL LIKE F-ING LEMONS?"

In the midst of Logan's cursing fit, Sam and Bobby had managed to come downstairs and see what all the violent swearing was about. "Mr. Logan?" Sam timidly asked.

Logan stopped swearing for a moment and looked at the Southerner and his companion. He sighed and tried to regain his composure, like the professor had showed him. It didn't work. "What?" He growled at Sam.

"This is a K+ fic! You can't swear like that!" Bobby answered for Sam.

"What the f is a K+ fic?" Logan demanded.

Bobby sighed. "Never mind, Mr. L. Did you make us soup?"


	7. Chapter 7: They Wouldn't

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

Aspirin

Cymbalta

Logan sighed. "Yeah, Popsicle. I gotcha soup right here." He reluctantly opened the microwave and removed the surprisingly still whole cans of soup. It took a moment for Logan to realize that the cans were actually burning his hands. He swore aloud and slammed the cans down on the counter, causing them to explode.

Bobby and Sam started shrieking, covered from head to toe in burning hot soup. Logan, also covered in the near boiling liquid, retained his composure, and wiped the soup from his face. He did his best to get the noodles and bits of chicken out of his hair, and then turned to Bobby and Sam, whose shrieks had turned into coughs.

Logan just stood back and watched the two boys cough. He couldn't help but be annoyed by the two of them, just standing there coughing for minutes on end. He felt like he should do something, but he didn't know what to do. After all, he was just a living fossil taking care of two sick kids. What would he know?

So Logan stood there, watching. It then dawned on him that he heard something somewhere about some kind of medicine that was actually able to cure coughs. He was pretty sure they'd invented something like that by now, anyways. Logan shoved Bobby and Sam up the stairs to their room and then left them for the med lab.

Upon arriving in the med lab, Logan began to search the many cupboards for some kind of medicine that might get rid of Bobby and Sam's constant coughing. He found one that looked promising. It read 'Aspirin,' and he was pretty sure he'd heard Sam ask for it once, after crashing into a tree. He took a few bottles of that, and decided to keep looking, just in case this Aspirin stuff wasn't what he was looking for.

Finding another promising looking bottle, labeled 'Cymbalta'. Logan tried to remember what this one was for. He didn't recall ever seeing that one before, but the label looked professional enough, so he took a bottle of that.

Logan found one more bottle of medicine that looked decent enough for treating coughs. It didn't have a label, but he had a good feeling about this one. It looked better than the one sitting on the counter with a note attached to it reading "VERY IMPORTANT: Bobby and Sam's Antibiotic," anyways.

So, Logan took his three bottles of medicine up to the kitchen. He wasn't surprised to find that Sam and Bobby had left the kitchen and had probably gone back upstairs to their room. Logan slowly climbed the stairs to the boys' room, careful to not make lots of noise in case the two were sleeping.

Logan slowly turned the handle on the door and gently pushed it open. His jaw dropped when he saw that the boys were not in their room. "I'm so getting fired for this," Logan mumbled to himself.

Racing down the stairs, Logan ran all throughout the mansion, trying to find the boys. He checked in every room and hallway, with no trace of Bobby or Sam to be found. The only room he didn't check was the professor's office.

Professor Xavier's office was off-limits to students unless he called you there specifically. Logan knew that even Bobby and Sam wouldn't be stupid enough to go into Professor's office... Would they?


	8. Chapter 8: They Would

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

Star Trek / Enterprise / Klingon

the Simpsons Movie

Can you find the cameo quote from the Simpsons Movie?

Cursing, Logan ran off in the direction of the Professor's office. He unsheathed his claws with a nasty growl when he heard the laughter and coughing coming from inside the office. He opened the door to find Bobby and Sam playing with the Professor's Star Trek action figures.

"PEW! PEW PEW PEW!" Bobby shouted, pretending to shoot down the Enterprise with his own Klingon ship.

"AHHH! BOOM!" Sam made the appropriate noises as the Enterprise crashed down onto the Professor's desk.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Logan shouted. He ran over to the boys and yanked the toys out of their hands. "THESE ARE COLLECTABLES! THE PROFESSOR IS GONNA KILL ALL OF US!"

Bobby and Sam stared at Logan, who couldn't tell if they were about to cry or laugh. Of course, being Sam and Bobby, they started cracking up with their insane sick people laughter... Which led to more coughing. Logan growled in frustration and dragged both boys out of the room by their ears. He led them into the kitchen and forced them to sit down in the chairs. "You two are in some serious trouble."

Bobby and Sam merely sat there, shaking with laughter and coughs.

"You think this is funny? I'll teach you how to laugh! Danger room- NOW!"


	9. Chapter 9: Good Times in the Danger Room

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

Challenge Fic: Can you create the rest of the DR session the boys endured while they were sick?

Sam and Bobby ran screaming as best they could in their weakened state. Their running turned out to be about the speed of a jog, and their screaming was more coughing loudly than it was screaming. The Danger Room's lasers chased them across the room, forcing the boys to 'run' to the far corner of the room. When they were both squished into the corner of the room, the lasers ceased their shooting, and large spinning blades proceeded to come closer and closer until they were within an inch of the boys' faces.

"End program." Logan's rough voice came from the Danger Room's entrance. He walked slowly over to the boys in the corner until his face was about the same distance as the blades had just been a moment ago. "Have we had enough fer today, boys?"

"Yes, sir." Sam and Bobby answered simultaneously, coughing and looking weaker than ever.

"Good. Now go take a shower and get ta bed. Ya both look horrible."

"Gee, I wonder why," Sam mumbled as he walked past Logan.

"What was that, Guthrie?"

"Nothing, sir."

"Good." Logan almost felt sorry for them as they stumbled out of the Danger Room, holding each other up as they did so. Almost.

He sighed, hoping they had learned their lesson. The rule was if you touched Professor's action figures, you got an hour long Danger Room session on Level 5. Logan couldn't make exceptions, even for an ill Bobby and Sam. He could, however, cut them some slack, seeing as though they were sick and supposedly bed-ridden. Logan had set the Danger Room at Level 3 for a half of an hour as an act of mercy, and the boys just barely survived. The professor was very touchy about his action figures.

Logan decided to go check on the boys and make sure that they hadn't passed out... Or died. He headed back upstairs and stopped in the kitchen for a snack of beef jerky. It was when he started opening the many cupboards of the kitchen to find said beef jerky that he noticed the three bottles of medicine he had picked out for Bobby and Sam earlier. Logan grabbed his beef jerky and the medicine and ran upstairs to the boys' room.


	10. Chapter 10: Nice Job, Bobby

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

Aspirin

Cymbalta

"Drake! Guthrie!" Logan shouted as he pounded on the darkened bedroom's door.

"Whaddya want now?" Sam asked groggily. Bobby slowly came up behind him to see what Logan wanted.

"I almost fergot! I gotcher medicine stuff."

"That's what you woke us up for?"

"What, ya don' wantchyer medicine? After all I did fer the both of ya? Do ya know how long it took me to find this stuff?"

"That's not even the right medicine!" Bobby protested.

"Whaddreya talkin' 'bout, Drake?" Logan growled. "It's medicine, ain' it?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Well it's all the same stuff!"

"No it's not."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"No."

"Yes."

"No! Do ya wanna run another Danger Room session, Drake?"

Bobby sighed. "No, sir." He turned to Sam. "Thanks for backin' me up, Sam."

Sam just laughed sheepishly and shrugged. Trying to change the subject and get Bobby's glare off of him, Sam turned to Logan. "So, uh... What kinda medicine didja get, Mr. L?"

Logan growled in reply. "Here." He grunted and showed the boys the first bottle.

"That's Aspirin."

"So?"

Bobby piped up, finally removing his death glare from Sam. "That's for headaches."

"And?"

"Well we don't have headaches."

"Alright. So ya don' want this one. What about this one?" Logan held the second bottle up.

"Mr. Logan, that's Cymbalta. It's for depression."

Logan growled, getting frustrated. "And?"

"We're not depressed! We're just sick!"

"FINE! Just take this one!" Logan held up the third bottle. "Whaddya think about this one, Drake?"

"It doesn't even have a label!"

"SO?"

"How can you expect us to take something without a label? You don't even know what it is!"

"AND?"

"You can't do that! You have to-" Bobby was cut off by Sam, who really didn't want another Danger Room session.

"What Bobby means is-" Sam began, only to be cut off by Bobby, who obviously wasn't going to give up any time soon.

"Mr. Logan! You can't do that! You have to know what the medicine is before you give it to someone!"

"FINE! If yer so smart, Drake, then YOU go find yer own medicine!" With that, Logan turned, slammed the door, and went downstairs to the kitchen.

Now it was Sam's turn to glare at Bobby. "Nice job, Bobby." Cue sheepish laughter and awkward shrugging.


	11. Chapter 11: Cotton Balls Aren't Food?

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

"Right... So. Medicine," Bobby mumbled nasally as he and Sam started blankly at the many many cabinets in the Med Lab. "Well," He said, kneeling down to reach the bottom cupboards. "Gotta start somewhere." He motioned for Sam to come and help him. Sam stood back and watched. "Dude, aren't you gonna help me?"

Sam sighed. "Ah guess so... But you owe me now, Bobby."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. Just help me find this medicine stuff." Sam sighed again and knelt down beside his friend. "Dude!" Bobby exclaimed. "Look at these!"

"What? What?" Sam inquired.

"They're little wooden sticks in a jar! I'm sure Mr. McCoy won't mind if we 'borrowed' some of these," Bobby said, making air quotes around borrowed. He winked at Sam and put a few of the wonderful sticks in his pocket.

"Ah dunno, Bobby. Isn't that stealing?"

"Well... Yeah... But what is Mr. McCoy gonna do with all of these random little sticks, anyways? When he gets back, we'll just tell him that we took a couple for a school project or something."

"But that's lying."

"Well... Yeah... But... Uh..." Bobby struggled to come up with an excuse that would permit him to take a couple of the sticks with him.

"Face it, Bobby. We can't have any tongue depressors."

"Tongue what's? No, dude, I was talking about these little wooden sticks in a jar."

"Yeah, Bobby. They're tongue depressors."

"What? No! They're just wooden sticks in a jar. Jeez, Sam. I thought you were smarter than that. Besides, who would want to depress a tongue? That doesn't even make sense."

Sam rolled his eyes, deciding not to respond to those last few statements. He opened another cupboard and started searching for the anti biotic Mr. McCoy had been giving them. He pulled a few jars out of said cupboard and put them on the floor by Bobby.

"Duuuuude..." Bobby said, picking up one of the jars Sam had just pulled out from the cupboards. "Check these out!"

"What? What is it?" Sam asked, ducking his head out from the cupboards to face his friend.

"They're cotton balls! More importantly, they're cotton balls in a jar!" Bobby said as he proudly held the glass jar up for Sam to see.

"Yeah?" Sam asked, unimpressed. "And?"

Bobby started to giggle madly, which, of course, led to coughing. Once Bobby's coughing had passed, he held the jar up again and asked Sam, "Do you dare me to eat one?"

"Uh... No..." Sam said, giving Bobby a strange look.

"Ugh. Fine. I'll just dare myself!" Bobby said as he took one of the little fluff balls and popped it in his mouth. He chewed for a few seconds, grinning madly as he did so, and then swallowed dramatically. "Whoa... Sam, you gotta try it! It's just like cotton candy, only without the flavor!" Bobby reached for another cotton ball, but Sam pulled the jar away from him before he could grab one.

"Somethin's tellin' me that this isn't really a good idea, either." Sam said with a concerned look on his face. He put the cotton ball jar back in the cupboard and continued his search while Bobby pouted about his lack of cotton balls.

A few minutes of cabinet searching later, Bobby found something even better than cotton balls. "SUCKERS!" He exclaimed.

"What?" Sam half-asked, half-coughed, turning to face his friend.

"Dude! I found a jar of suckers!"

"Oh. Well, okay. And whaddya wanna do with those?"

"Uh, eat them! Duh! What, do you like not have candy in Kentucky?"

"I didn't say that! It's just that we're supposed to be looking for medicine, and you wanna eat stolen suckers!"

"They're not stolen! They're borrowed! And can't we eat suckers and look for medicine? Or better yet, I'll eat the suckers and you find the medicine!"

"Oh, whatever, Bobby." Sam gave up on trying to impose common sense on Bobby and ducked his head back into the cabinet. After a few long minutes of sucker eating and more cabinet searching, Sam emerged victorious. "Yes!"He pulled out the bottle of antibiotics that Hank had given them before he left.

"What? What?" Bobby asked, looking over from his pile of sucker wrappers and now empty sucker jar. "Did you find more suckers?"


	12. Chapter 12: You Just Gotta Have Patience

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

"Mr. Logan!" Sam called in his still raspy voice as he and Bobby walked down the hallway towards the staircase from the Med Lab. "I found our medicine!"

Bobby nudged him. "Don't you mean 'we'? I mean, I helped a little. You could give me some credit, you know."

"How did you help? You sat there and ate suckers the whole time!"

"Yeah, I know. And I'm still hungry, too." Bobby stopped walking when a sudden thought dawned on him. "Hey... We never got our chicken noodle soup!" Bobby started off towards the kitchen at a fast pace, determined to get some soup. Entering the kitchen, he found Logan, feet propped upon the table, eating beef jerky and reading the newspaper.

"Mr. Logan!" Sam shouted when he finally caught up to Bobby in the kitchen. "I found our medicine!"

"That's nice." Logan responded, not bothering to look up from his paper. There was a long, awkward moment of silence between the three mutants.

"Welllll..." Sam drawled n his Southern accent, setting the much sought-after medicine down on the table where Logan had his feet propped up. "Then Ah think Ah'm gonna go back ta bed, if that's okay with you, Mr. L."

"Whatever."

"Yeah... Sleep sounds good." Bobby agreed, stretching his arms back with a yawn. "But you know what sounds better?" He asked, suddenly full of energy again. "Soup!" He yelled, answering his own question based on the knowledge that no one would ever answer any of his questions. After another awkward pause, he timidly asked, "Will you make us some soup, Mr. Logan?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"I said no."

"Pretty pretty please?" Bobby asked, getting down on his knees, hands clasped together and shaking at Logan.

"NO."

"With a cherry on top?"

"ARG!" Logan shouted, slamming his fists into the now dented table and throwing his newspaper down. "Fine. Fine. You want soup? I'll make you soup! Just shut up and go away!"

"M'kay!" Bobby shouted, grabbing Sam's hand and pulling him out of the room and up the stairs to their room, telling him how "Persistence is all it really takes in this world, Sam. You just gotta have patience!"


	13. Chapter 13: Good Work, Bobby

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

Campbell's / Campbell's Tomato Soup

Xbox

Logan sighed a breath of relief as the two boys finally left him alone in the kitchen. He sighed again when he realized that he had just agreed to find enough food for two teenage boys. Mumbling to himself about how he didn't get paid enough to babysit, Logan started opening cupboards, checking for any kind of soup that might be edible.

After opening and closing all of the other cupboards, Logan finally found one can of Campbell's Tomato Soup in the depths of the last remaining cupboard. Grumbling, he slowly walked up the stairs, to the boys' bedroom, soup can in hand.

Logan opened the door and found Bobby and Sam sitting on the floor, playing a game that they shouldn't be playing on the Xbox that shouldn't be in their room anyways instead of sleeping like Sam had said. Logan, however, decided against taking action and removing the Xbox, figuring that if it kept Sam and Bobby out of his hair, it was probably not such a bad thing to have around.

"I got yer soup," Logan declared, holding up the soup can. Bobby slowly and reluctantly pulled his eyes from the TV screen to look at Logan and his single can of soup.

"Ooookay..." Bobby started, eying Logan with a confused look on his sick red face. "So... Are you gonna cook it for us?"

"Whaddya talkin' 'bout?" Logan asked, now equally confused. "I brought ya soup, didn't I? Ya never said I had ta do anythin' to it."

"Mr. L.," Sam explained, "Ya have ta cook the soup before ya can serve it."

"Besides," Bobby added, "That's not even chicken noodle!"

"Ya never said it had ta be chicken noodle!" Logan exclaimed, furious.

"But sick people always eat chicken noodle soup!"

"Does it seem like I deal with sick people all that often, Drake?"

"Obviously not..."

To this, Logan growled, tossing the soup can at the boys' feet. "Ya want soup, ya can make it yerself!"


	14. Chapter 14: What IS Chicken Noodle Soup?

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

"Bobby," Sam started with a frown, "Do you realize this is the second time today that you've asked Mr. Logan to do somethin' fer us and ya went and got 'im all mad and now we have ta do it ourselves?"

"Really? Only two?" Bobby asked with a confused face. "Huh. It feels like more. Well!" Bobby said, sticking his head inside a few different cupboards. He paused from his search, realizing he had no idea what he was actually looking for. "Hey Sam?"

Sam sighed. "Yes, Bobby?"

"What's in chicken noodle soup?"

Sam paused for a moment, hesitant of answering Bobby's quesiton. "Whyyyy?" Sam drawled.

"Because I want some homemade chicken noodle soup! So I need to know what's in it!"

"I knew I shouldn't have asked," Sam muttered, recalling the last time Bobby had tried to cook soup... Sam didn't think you could actually _burn _water, but Bobby had found a way. "Welll... Considerin' that it's called _chicken noodle soup_, I'd wager ta guess that its got chicken and noodles."

"Wow. Thanks, Sam. Because I couldn't have guessed that myself..." Bobby said, rolling his eyes. "Go find some chicken, then. I'll get the noodles."


	15. Chapter 15: Chicken and Noodles

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

"Noodles, noodles, how I love my noodles..." Bobby sang, coughing briefly after the second 'noodle'. Opening every cupboard in the kitchen, Bobby was unable to find any noodles.

After thinking about where one might keep noodles, Bobby decided that maybe you had to keep them cold so that they wouldn't spoil. He checked the refrigerator, but there were still no noodles. Mentally pouting, he pulled open the freezer door and found a huge supply of noodles.

Ziti, penne, orzo, fettuccine; there were just so many types of frozen noodles, Bobby couldn't even pick one. He pulled out a few boxes with fun-sounding names and held them up proudly.

Sam was down on his hands and knees, still clinging to the hope that he might not have to endure Bobby's awful cooking again by finding a can of chicken noodle soup. Alas, there were no soup cans to be found.

As Sam opened the last cupboard, he noticed that this one had an odd smell to it, a quite rotten one. He reached into the back and almost squealed like a little southern girl when his hand found a piece of rotting chicken lying in the back of the cupboard.

Sam cautiously pulled the chicken out, holding it at an arm's length. Sam plugged his nose and threw the spoiled meat into the garbage. Giving up his dream of canned soup, he sighed and turned toward the freezer to find some meat.


	16. Chapter 16: Those Crazy Southerners

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

"Sam?" Bobby asked, his arms full of his noodle boxes, "Didja get the chicken?"

"I don't think we have any, Bobby." Sam replied with slight hesitation, not wanting to figure out what Bobby would come up with to substitute chicken. "The freezer's full of noodles fer some reason."

"I know!" Bobby shouted excitedly. "I got like 20 different kinds of noodles here! But you really didn't find any chicken? 'Cause I coulda sworn I saw you toss some chicken in the garbage can over here..." Bobby wandered over to the garbage can.

Sam cringed as Bobby set down his noodles, peered inside the garbage can, and proudly pulled out the rotten chicken. "See? Chicken!" Bobby held the chicken up triumphantly while Sam gagged just looking at it. "Crazy southerners..." Bobby mumbled, gathering the noodles and the meat in his arms. "Don't know a good piece of meat when they see it... Now, where are those pots?"


	17. Chapter 17: Guestimation

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

"So." Bobby started, rubbing his hands together. "We've got the pot, the chicken, and the noodles. Now all we have to do is put them together!" Bobby grabbed the pan excitedly and filled it with water from the sink. He threw the chicken and an assortment of different types of noodles into the pot. Bobby popped open the microwave door and placed the pot inside. He turned to Sam, "How long should soup cook for?"

Sam didn't answer, as he was now searching more frantically than ever for a can of normal soup in the kitchen's cupboards.

"Sam?" Bobby asked. "Buddy?" He sighed. "Oh, well. I'll just guestimate. Is that a word?" Bobby babbled off into his own little demented and frozen world, mindlessly trying to enter his phone number into the microwave's four-digit time slot.


	18. Chapter 18: Microwave Safety

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

Sam had long since given up on finding soup to save himself from Bobby's cooking, and now sat at the kitchen table with Bobby, waiting for the pot of soup, still heating up in the microwave. "Bobby," Sam asked after a few minutes. "How long did you put the soup in the microwave for?"

"Well that depends," Bobby answered. "What are the first four digits in my phone number?"

"Um..." Sam put a hand on his chin, thinking. "I thought it was 1-617... Why does that matter?"

"Well you didn't answer me when I asked you how long soup was supposed to cook for, so I guestimated." Bobby jutted out his lower lip. "And I still don't know if that's a word."

"So you put the pot of soup in the microwave for 16 minutes and 17 seconds?"

"Uh huh."

"Bobby!"

"What?"

Sam sighed. The soup had already been in the microwave for a good five or ten minutes now. There was no use in trying to stop it now. Maybe it would wipe out all of the disgusting germs on that piece of rotting meat, anyways. "Did you at least put it in something microwave-safe?"

"Microwave-safe? What does that even mean?"

Sam sighed once more, remembering last year when Bobby had put a plastic bowl of soup (soup from a can, he might add) in the microwave, and hoping that when Bobby said he had put the soup in a 'pot,' he actually found a microwave-safe pot. Maybe a ceramic one. Or metal. Could metal go in the microwave? Sam just didn't know. He usually cooked soup on the stove. Sam sighed loudly. Cue coughing marathon.


	19. Chapter 19: A Big Ol' Pot of Soup

Disclaimers:

I don't own...

X-Men: Evolution

"So here we are! A big ol' pot of soup!" Bobby popped open the microwave door, and smoke instantly poured out like a fog machine on Halloween. Bobby and Sam coughed and hacked, listening to the smoke alarms going off in the background.

Logan burst into the room. "What the h-?" Logan's remark was cut short as he himself started coughing and hacking. He squinted through the smoke, his eyes burning and his nose stinging. Logan grabbed Bobby and Sam by their shirt collars, hauling them out into the hallway.

Once their coughing had subsided, Logan grabbed Bobby and commanded him to put out any flames or smoke that might be left in the kitchen. Bobby, eyes still stinging, sprayed snow all over the kitchen.

The remnants of smoke cleared, and the smoke alarm's shrieking stopped. Logan sighed, looking around the now snow-coated kitchen. "I shoulda known better than ta leave the two of yas alone in the kitchen."


	20. Chapter 20: To the Grocery Store!

Bobby smiled as he looked around the kitchen and admired his handiwork. "Well,_ I_ think I did a pretty good job!"

Sam looked around the snow-covered and partially frozen kitchen. "Well," He started in his thick Southern accent. "Don't that just put pepper in the gumbo?"

Bobby took Sam's wise words into consideration, and then surveyed the kitchen again. He looked at the frozen refrigerator, oven, sink, and cupboards. "Yeah, you're right." Bobby broke into a grin. "I did an awesome job!" He turned to Logan. "What do you think, Mr. L?"

"I think ya just completely froze the rest of our food, Drake." Logan answered.

"Oh yeah. Huh." Bobby gazed once more around the frozen and snowy kitchen. "Does this mean what I think it means?" Bobby turned to Sam excitedly and together they declared, fists pumped in the air, "TO THE GROCERY STORE!"


	21. Chapter 21: Just a Bad Idea

"Mr. Logan!" Bobby peered around the corner of Logan's shoulder. "Can I drive?"

"No no no no!" Sam poked up around the corner of Logan's other shoulder. "I should drive."

"No! I'm a way better driver than you!"

"No, you're not!"

"Yuh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Yuh huh!"

"Nun uh!"

"Yuh-" Bobby's last remark was cut short as Logan exploded in frustration, claws now fully extended.

Logan held one clawed hand out at Bobby's throat, and the other at Sam's. "Neither of ya are gonna drive! I'm gonna drive!" A vein in Logan's forehead pulsed. "Got it?" He asked through gritted teeth.

Bobby and Sam were now pale and quiet, much like they were earlier that morning when they had first come downstairs to begin their reign of terror over Logan. "Yes sir..." They both mumbled as they headed toward the infamous X-Van.


	22. Chapter 22: Those Awesome Clicky Lights

The ride to the grocery store was, for the most part, quiet. There was that awkward feeling in the air when everyone feels like they should be apologizing for something, but no one does. Bobby and Sam sat silently in the backseat, and Logan drove with a frown on his rough face.

About halfway there, the awkward silence was broken when Sam remembered the ceiling lights that clicked on and off with a button. He giggled and nudged Bobby, clicking the light on and off. Bobby in turn giggled and clicked the light on his side on and off.

With one 'are you thinking what I'm thinking?' glance, Bobby and Sam mentally decided on a contest to keep them entertained until they reached the glorious grocery store: Whoever could click the lights faster would win. The prize, of course, was nothing more than bragging rights and pride. Bobby held up five fingers, counting down quietly until he got to one. "Go!" He whisper-shouted, and the game was on. Bobby used an alternating two-finger technique, while Sam used only one finger.

Logan's already adamant grip (LOL) tightened when he heard the lights rapidly click on and off from the backseat. He growled quietly, trying to remain calm. It worked until Bobby decided to claim his victory over Sam. "A-HA! I win again!" He shouted, pointing at Sam and grinning like the moron we all know him to be.

"Nuh uh! You cheated! You used two fingers!" Sam objected.

"So? Nobody ever said I couldn't!"

"Nobody ever said yah could, either!"

"You're just a sore loser!"

"Ah am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"EVERYBODY SHUDDUP!" Logan's voice trumped those of Bobby and Sam, who visibly sank back in their seats, all claims to victory and accusations of cheating forgotten. Logan jerked the wheel to the right as he turned into the grocery store's parking lot.


	23. Chapter 23: Magical Swishy Doors

Wow. It's been a while. I could come up with a ton of excuses for ya, but I don't have any. What can I say? I've been lazy. Oh well.

But hey! I'm back! :D I have a minor problem with this story... I kinda need new ideas... Really badly... So review and gimme somethin' ta work with here! LOL This story was only supposed to be a one-shot, but so many people showed interest in it, I decided to expand... But now I'm almost out of ideas. So a lil help? (wink wink nudge nudge) On with the story (finally)!

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Bobby and Sam winced as Logan got out of the van, with several veins in his forehead and neck looking about ready to explode. They slowly climbed out of their seats and walked behind Logan towards the store.

Glancing at each other, Bobby and Sam made a mental agreement to try to be relatively quiet for Logan's own sanity (or whatever was left of it). It was working just fine until they approached the grocery store's automatic doors.

Bobby was fairly entertained by the swishing and swooshing of the doors opening and closing, but he simply was not prepared for the wonderful surprise waiting for him past the magical doors. There, just to the left of the store's entrance... Little girls in brown skirts and vests, each donning a sash decorated with various badges... "GIRL SCOUT COOKIES!"


	24. Chapter 24: Girl Scout Cookies

Ideas for the story, anyone? ;)

I'm gonna try and update everyday from now on... Try is the key word here, guys. :)

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Bobby rushed over to the small table stacked with boxes of cookies and surrounded by little girls. "Do you have Tagalongs?" he asked quickly, head shaking up and and down, as if he was answering his own question. The girls seemed to be slightly terrified of the pajama-clad teenage boy with blood-shot eyes and a running nose. Squealing in fright, the young girls ran behind the table, to the safety of their mothers' sides.

Mouth slightly ajar, one of the mothers answered Bobby after a good and awkward five or ten second pause. "Um... Yeah. Yeah, we have Tagalongs."

Pumping his fist in the air, Bobby shouted, "Victory!" He reached for his wallet, presumably in his pocket. After feeling around on his pant legs for a brief while, Bobby looked down to discover for himself that he was still wearing pajamas. "Nooo!" He shouted, shaking his fists angrily at the ceiling. Sinking to his knees, Bobby covered his face with his hands. "Why me? Why now?" He sobbed.

Standing off to the side in disbelief were Logan and Sam. One of the Girl Scout's mothers turned to the two, gestured to Bobby, and asked, "Is he with you?"

After exchanging thoughtful looks, Logan and Sam turned back to the mother and sighed. "Sadly, yes." Logan answered, walking towards Bobby's crumpled form on the grocery store floor. "C'mon, Popsicle. Yer makin' a scene." Logan pulled Bobby up off the ground, shoved him in Sam's general direction, and pulled out his wallet. "How much fer a box of Snagapongs er whatever?"

"Tagalongs?" The woman confirmed. "They're four dollars a box."

"Four dollars?" Logan exclaimed. "I thought they were like two dollars!"

"Well, the price has raised to compensate for various things that needed funding."

"Well that's just wrong." Logan turned back to Bobby and sighed. "Drake, if I buy ya these f'ing cookies, will ya promise ta shut up while Guthrie and I get some food?"

Silently, and with his best puppy-dog eyes, Bobby nodded.

"Fine." Logan grunted. He slapped four single dollar bills on the Scouts' table. "Gimme a box of the Lagalongs."

Sighing, the woman placed her well-manicured hand on her hip. "Do you mean Tagalongs, sir?"

"I don't know!" Logan exclaimed. "Just gimme whatever the kid was screamin' for!"

"So one box of Tagalongs, then." The woman turned to the young girl grasping her pant leg from behind her. "Emma, sweatheart? Would you like to hand the nice man over there a box of Tagalongs?"

The girl quickly and silently shook her head, 'no.' Sighing once more, the woman turned back to Logan and handed him the box of cookies he had requested.

Logan took the cookies and slowly handed them to Bobby. Before he let go of the box, he confirmed, "Ya promise ta shuddup?" Bobby nodded quickly. "Fine." Logan grunted as he released his grip on the box. Bobby squealed in delight, but quickly quieted himself when Logan gave him one of his signature Wolverine looks, complete with the throbbing vein in the forehead.

Still staring Bobby down, Logan grunted to Sam, "Go get us a cart." Sam obeyed and the boys' shopping trip was officially underway.


	25. Chapter 25: Only Twenty Dollars, Right?

Ideas, please!

Huge thanks to Knightrunner for reviewing chapters 23 AND 24! Thanks so much!

Sadly, I don't own anything. That includes any and all cereal. Bummer, huh?

Hey, BTW, sorry Bobby's so insanely weird in this fic. It was just getting too hard to write him seriously. Oh well.

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Bobby happily munched on his cookies as he, Logan and Sam walked up and down the aisle of the store. Bobby walked next to Sam, who pushed the cart behind Logan. Everything seemed to be going just fine… Until they reached the cereal aisle.

Bobby almost broke his vow to silence when his widened eyes tried to take in all the different kinds of cereal. There were chocolate kinds, marshmallow kinds, and berry kinds, all in one aisle! It was all so wonderful, Bobby didn't think it could get any better. But just then… Lucky Charms!

Bobby tapped Sam's shoulder rapidly to get the Southerner's attention. Sam sighed and turned to face his crazed friend. "Yes, Bobby?" He asked as calmly as he could. Bobby pointed frantically to the boxes of Lucky Charms. "Oh, geez, not the Lucky Charms. I suppose you want a box of those too, huh?" Bobby nodded as quickly as he could, his vow to silence really taking a toll on what was left of his mental stability.

Sam sighed again and called for Logan, who was already in the next aisle, picking out kinds of bread. Logan came back to the cereal aisle, looking less than pleased. In his typical 'I'm-really-trying-not-to-strangle-you-on-the-spot' voice, he grunted, showing that he was listening even though he really didn't want to be. Seeing Bobby pointing at the boxes of Lucky Charms like a madman, he looked at Sam with a pointed look for an explanation.

"Bobby wants a box of Lucky Charms," Sam clarified. This seemed to displease Bobby, who punched Sam in the arm with a frantic look. "Ow…" Sam complained. He sighed, and then rephrased. "Bobby _really_ wants a box of Lucky Charms." Bobby, now pleased that Sam had vocalized his request correctly, looked to Logan with his best puppy-dog eyes.

Logan sighed and mentally weighed his options. Deciding that no matter what he did, Bobby would just keep asking for more stuff. So, he caved. "Fine. Ya know what? Why don't you 'n' Popsicle just go buy whatever the both of ya want." Logan handed Sam a twenty dollar bill. "Just leave me alone and meet me back at the van in twenty minutes. Can ya handle that?"

Sam and Bobby's eyes went wide. Looking at Logan like he was the best thing that had ever happened to them, they nodded and began to grin. Logan, only slightly unnerved by the boys' large grins, decided that this was the best course of action. Right? The boys would leave him alone, he could just buy what they needed, and they would be out of there in twenty minutes. Right? It was only twenty dollars; they couldn't buy that much crap. Right?


	26. Chapter 26: The Bread Basket

Wow. It's been a while. I could come up with excuse after excuse but I know you don't wanna read those... So. I want to thank AngeliqueRox, because they are simply amazing and have reviewed almost every chapter, even the really bad ones. ;) And I also want to apologize to AngeliqueRox because I had told them in a PM that the next chapter was supposed to be up a loooooong time ago... Sorry, AR!

But the good news is that this story is finished. Yes, I have typed the very last of the chapters. They will be posted here, one per day. :D One last comment: After the last of the story is up, I will be renovating this thing, chapter by chapter. In other words, I'm going through each chapter and correcting grammar and spelling and such and possibly adding more detail and length to the story. So all I'm saying is... Fair warning. After the story is finished, turn off your author and story alerts, or you will most definitely be getting a bajillion e-mails. It's a fair warning. And without further ado, I bring you Wolverine's Motherly Instincts, Chapter 26!

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"Duuuuuude," Bobby said, staring at the twenty dollar bill in his hands and officially breaking his vow to silence. "Twenty. Whole. Dollars." Bobby's pale and sickly face lit up in a smile as he forgot all about the open box of Tagalongs in his hands.

"Ah know," Sam stated in a hoarse southern voice with an equally large smile on his own face.

"Well let's go spend it!" Bobby shouted with a fist pump as he sprinted to the nearest aisle.

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"Wow. Who knew there were so many types of bread?" Sam pondered as he and Bobby walked past the many shelves of bread.

"Yeah, yeah, the bread is great. But c'mon, man! The desserts are right over there!" Bobby pleaded, tugging on Sam's unmoving sleeve.

"No really, Bobby!" I mean, have you looked at all this stuff? There's a lot of bread here!"  
>"C'mon, Sam! I wanna go spend twenty dollars on desserts!"<p>

"No way. I gotta count these now."

"Are you serious? Who cares how many different types of bread there are? We should be picking out cupcakes by now!"

"Aw, c'mon, Bobby! You can't tell me you don't wanna know how many there are! Just gimme one minute!"

Bobby sighed. "Fine, but not a second more. Those cupcakes are just calling for me!" Bobby pulled out his phone and started the stop watch, giving Sam a reluctant "go" as he watched his friend begin to frantically count types of bread.

About fifteen seconds later, Bobby became bored and began looking around the store for something to entertain himself with.

Another fifteen seconds later, Bobby rediscovered the box of Tagalongs in his hand and happily started to munch on his cookies.

With fifteen seconds remaining, Bobby stifled his tears as he discovered he had eaten the whole box of Tagalongs.

At the one minute mark, Bobby stopped staring at his empty cookie box, brokenheartedly tossed it over his shoulder onto the floor, and called out for Sam to stop. Sam reluctantly agreed to do so and announced in a short-of-breath voice that he had counted 52 types of bread. He rested his hands on his knees and hung his head down, breathing short, shallow breaths.

"Dude, why are you all sweaty and out of breath?" Bobby asked, a sad, confused and slightly disgusted look on his face.

"Bread... Intense... Stuff... Man," Sam panted out, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand.

"Ooookay... Well, c'mon, break time is over! We gotta go get us some cake!" Bobby grabbed Sam by the sleeve and proceeded to pull him into the next aisle over, forgetting the pain felt from his empty Tagalong box and looking forward to the magic awaiting him in the dessert aisle.


	27. Chapter 27: The Hallelujah Chorus

Sadly, I do not own Twinkies. Even more sadly, there is no such thing as a family size box of Twinkies.

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It's splendor simply cannot be explained in words. It's glory is more than that of any king. It's magic far surpasses any fairy tale. It is: the dessert aisle.

Bobby slowly passed by the many types of cupcakes, his salivating mouth hanging wide open. Next to him walked Sam, equally mesmerized by the large selection of junk foods available for their purchase and consumption.

At the end of the aisle, however, was a treasure that neither boy was quite prepared for. Sam's heart skipped several beats and Bobby began to hyperventilate. There, at the end of the dessert aisle, lie four, family size boxes of Twinkies. Bobby and Sam looked at each other and, nodding, mentally agreed to buy as many as they could with their twenty dollar bill.

Sam braved picking up the box and checking the price. He inhaled sharply and expected the worst, slowly bringing the price tag into his view. Seeing the price on the bottom of the glorious white box, Sam sighed loudly and grinned. He turned the box torward Bobby and showed him the price tag on the bottom of the box: $4.99.

Bobby, too broke out into a large grin as the boys silently collected all four boxes and calmly walked to the cash registers, the hallelujah chorus playing in their minds the whole way there.


	28. Chapter 28: Ah, the Self CheckOut

Bobby exhaled slowly as he and Sam approached the self check-out line at the front of the grocery store. Both boys were still in a state of shock from their glorious discovery of family size Twinkie boxes at the end of the dessert aisle. "Okay." Bobby said in an attempt to calm himself. He took several deep breaths and then repeated, "Okay." Turning to Sam, he asked, "Are you ready?" Sam nodded silently. "Alright, then. Let's do this."

Bobby's hand shook with excitement as he reached up to push the button on the self check-out machine's touch screen that read, 'Begin Purchase.' The machine spoke in a friendly, female voice. "Please scan your first item."

With one sharp exhaled breath, Bobby turned to Sam and said in a calm voice, "Okay, Sam. Give me the first box." Sam carefully handed Bobby the first box and the boys began their check-out process.

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A few lanes over, Logan stood in the standard check-out line, impatiently tapping his foot as the woman in front of him continued to pull coupon after coupon out of her large purse. The woman continued to hand the coupons to the cashier while the young boy in sitting in her cart screamed, cried, yelled. Logan's foot tapped faster.

Another coupon. Foot goes faster.

Another shrill scream. Foot goes faster.

More digging around in the purse for a coupon. The claws begin to press against Logan's skin.

The screams get louder. The claws press harder.

One more coupon and Logan begins to fear what he might do to the woman and her child if the both of them didn't hurry up and check out. Trying to avoid disaster, Logan quickly turned and headed for the self check-out lanes.

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"Do you have any coupons?" The self check-out machine quizzed Bobby.

Bobby turned to Sam. "Do we have any coupons?"

Sam checked his pockets. "Ah don't think so."

"Well how do we skip the coupon screen?"

"Ah don't know!"

"There's no button to skip it!"

"Just start pushing all the buttons!"

"It's not doing anything!"

"That's 'cause yer doin' it wrong!"

"I am not!"

"Yes, you are! Here, let me!"

"No, I'm doing it right!"

"No, you're not! Move over!"

As Logan approached the self check-out lane, he couldn't help but notice two young boys that were both slapping the screen of their machine as they argued about coupons. Mentally deciding that it was probably better for him to leave the grocery store without any groceries than to have to put up with women, coupons, babies, plus Bobby and Sam on top of it all, Logan left his cart in front of the self check-out lane and approached Bobby and Sam.

"Yer still doin' it wrong!" Sam accused.

"No, I'm not!" Bobby countered.

"Yuh huh!"

"Nuh uh!"

Silently, Logan grabbed both boys by the ears as the continued to argue about coupons and hauled them out of the store, sans groceries and Twinkies.


	29. Chapter 29: Dude, Where's Our Van?

Special thanks to Luxray-405 for the idea for this chapter!

And I definitely don't own 'Dude, Where's My Car?'. I've never even seen it... It just seemed like a fitting title. LOL! Enjoy!

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"Alright!" Logan shouted as he shoved Bobby and Sam out of the grocery store. "I don't want any more foolin' around from either of ya! I gave ya twenty dollars and twenty minutes and ya couldn't even handle yerselves fer that long!" Upon realizing that people were staring at him, Logan lowered his voice and leaned in so that he was face-to-face-to-face with Bobby and Sam. "No. More. Goofin'. Off." Logan straightened up and gave each teen a cold stare in the eyes. "Let's get outta here." He mumbled, breaking his death stares and heading in the general direction of where he had parked the X-Van only a half an hour ago.

Bobby and Sam trailed at a distance, heads hung down and silent. After what seemed like ages of following Logan around the parking lot, Bobby risked peeking up at the Canadian. Logan seemed to be wandering around the parking lot, looking very confused, yet very determinedly sniffing the evening air. It took Bobby only a moment to piece together what had happened. He nudged Sam, who looked up and came to the same conclusion about the Canadian.

"Mr. L? Didja ferget where ya parked again?" Sam asked, trying very hard not to laugh.

Logan turned to Sam with yet another death glare and opened his mouth to give the boy a lecture that he would never forget when he was interrupted by Bobby. "Dude, where did we park?"

Sam turned to face Bobby with a confused look on his pale face. "Whaddya talkin' bout, Bobby? We parked right over-" Sam stopped when he realized there were no cars in the area of the parking lot he had pointed to. "Oh."

"Mr. Logan?" Bobby asked timidly. "Where's the van?"

It was now Bobby's turn to receive a death glare from Logan. Sam nudged Bobby and whispered in his ear, "Ah think it was stolen."

Bobby laughed quite loudly and turned to face his friend. "Stolen?" Bobby continued laughing. "Sam, you're a riot!"

Logan walked over to the two teenagers, seriousness painted on his bearded face. "Guthrie's right. Van's been stolen. An' I am not gonna put up with walkin' home with the both of ya. I'm callin' the Professor, 'cause this little trip of his has lasted too far already. Gimme yer phone, Drake."

Bobby and Sam looked at each other, then back to Logan. Realizing he was quite serious about the van being stolen and calling Professor Xavier, Bobby slowly pulled his phone out of his sweatpants's pocket and handed it to Logan.


	30. Chapter 30: Logan Recalls the Horror

So here we are! The 30th and final chapter of Wolverine's Motherly Instincts! I want to thank all of you who kept reading and reviewing this story, even when it got to be really bad (yeah, we all know the Star Trek action figures and Danger Room session was a major downfall... LOL). This story was only supposed to be a one- or two- shot and we've made it into 30 chapters of randomness and chaos! :D

Also, a very important reminder: I will be renovating this story (I'm going through each chapter and fixing grammar and spelling and possibly adding a little more detail and length to the story)... So unless you want 30 different e-mails from FanFiction about this little story here, I would totally remove this story from your story alert list and me from your author alert list. Thank you and let's enjoy the finale! :D

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The Professor arrived with his team of New Recruits only a few hours later. When he heard Logan's almost begging voice, Professor Xavier decided that he should probably do as Logan asked and return before Bobby and Sam were skewered.

So, the New Recruits and Professor Xavier arrived in the Velocity and proceeded to pick Logan, Bobby and Sam up from the grocery store parking lot. Apparently, Bobby and Sam had gotten bored while they waited, and fell asleep on the sidewalk outside the grocery store. Logan, however, stayed up to keep watch and scare off any grocery store employees that tried to tell him that he and his friends couldn't spend the night on the grocery store's sidewalk, all while trying very hard not to decapitate Bobby and Sam to stop their snoring.

"Don't you need a warrant for things like this?" Bobby mumbled to no one in particular as he climbed aboard the Velocity from the grocery store's parking lot.

Logan turned to him, claws extended and eyes bloodshot. "Don't. Say. A. Word." He quietly and forcefully commanded of Bobby, who quickly put his head down and closed his mouth. Logan looked to Sam and was prepared to say the same thing, but Sam had already put his head down and closed his own mouth after witnessing the command Logan had given Bobby.

Now it was the Professor's turn to face the wrath of the wolverine. "Do you know what these two have done to me?" Logan shouted. "Do you know? Don't even bother pokin' around inside my head, Charles, 'cause I'm gonna tell ya what they did!"

Professor Xavier looked to his New Recruits and motioned for them to all get comfortable; they wouldn't be leaving the grocery store parking lot for a while as Logan continued his furious rant: "It all started when Iceboy over here decided that he just had to barf in the kitchen, where, might I add, it was already a mess from _someone's _search for snacks," Logan paused for emphasis and looked at Tabby, who merely avoided eye contact and pretended to study her fingernails. "and the take off force of this hunk of crap!" Logan shouted as he gestured to the all-too-tiny helicopter that he, the Professor, Bobby, Sam, and the rest of the New Recruits were crammed in to.

Everyone paused, as if waiting for Logan to just rip the supposed 'piece of crap' shred from shred, even now as they sat in it. However, Logan, bulging forehead vein and all, restrained himself and continued, "An' then, the Popsicle, who's supposed ta be immune ta cold," Logan paused again and stared at Bobby, who put his head down in fear once more, "Decided that he needed a blanket. And then tissues. And then the TV remote. And then came the baseball! Apparently Drake's not a fan of the Yanks," Logan stopped again as several New Recruits booed Bobby for his dislike of the New York Yankees. Logan growled at the young students, who opened their eyes wide in fear, and then continued once more. "An' then came the sick person food! An' the lemons! That spray crap in a can does _not _smell like lemons, Charles!" After a few more chuckles from several young students, the Professor motioned for them to be silent and gestured to Logan for him to continue. Logan went on,"An' then there was the aspirin an' the Cymbalta! What the heck is that stuff for, anyhow? An' then came the worst part, Charles! Those two messed with yer action figures!" Everyone paused and gasped at this shocking twist of events. It was a well-known fact throughout the mansion that no one was supposed to ever touch the Professor's Star Trek action figures. Ever.

The Professor's nose began to flare in and out and his face became tinged red with fury. But in the typical Professor Xavier fashion, he kept his cool and told Bobby and Sam telepathically that he would 'deal with this later.' He turned to Logan and motioned for him to continue once more.

Logan obliged and went on in his story of chaos, "An' then they wanted soup. I don't know how ta make soup! Apparently my soup isn't good enough fer these two! An' so they went an' set the kitchen on fire! _Fire! _So then we had ta go the grocery store an' then there were the little girls sellin' overpriced cookies and the lady with the coupons an' the screamin' kid an' the self check-out an' now we're here, in this mess with not van, no dignity, and no sanity!" By the end of Logan's rant, his claws were fully extended, the vein in his forehead looked like it was about to burst, and everyone in the helicopter sat with their mouths hanging wide open.

And then came the sigh and the innocent question from a certain boy with a love of ice, "Can we go home now?"


End file.
